Overeating jokes
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
Memes
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
I was at the bank yesterday.
A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
What is brown and sticky?
The leftovers of the iceberg.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.