Overeating jokes
Bros over hos.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.