Overeating jokes
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
What’s red and white and black all over?
A dead white man at night time!
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
What is brown and sticky?
The leftovers of the iceberg.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?
Tug of whore.