Outing jokes

Someone locked me out of my house today... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore.

How does a tree access the internet?

By logging in and branching out!

Today I am finding out the lore of worstjokesever.com.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.

And your IQ is 5.

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.

"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"

Dude named Guys:

Dude named Out:

Dude named School:

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?

A jump rope!

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

What goes in hard but comes out soft?

Gum.

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?

It scares the shit out of her dog.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

How do you get a retard out of a tree?

Wave at them.

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.