Outing jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,

"Some asshole has my pen!"

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?

“Kakuna Rattata!”

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?

The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.

In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.