Outing jokes

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

I think the local nudist campground just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:

"Clothed Until Further Notice."

Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?

Because they're always coming out of the closet.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.

And your IQ is 5.

What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.

How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?

Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"

Dude named Guys:

Dude named Out:

Dude named School:

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?

A jump rope!

Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?

It scares the shit out of her dog.

A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

How do you get a retard out of a tree?

Wave at them.

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

How many times does 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out!

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.