Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Outing Jokes
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Most women are like the Twin Towers.
It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
