Outing jokes

What is similar between Hitler and Trump?

They both want to keep races out.

I kicked the shit out of Little Johnny.

Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?

An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."

Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.

Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol

Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!

Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?

Because they have no parents to run to.

Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?

Because it was over 18 years old.

Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

Why did Harry fall out of the boat?

Because he's hooked!

Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.