Outing jokes
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”