Outing jokes

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?

It scares the shit out of her dog.

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

How do you get a retard out of a tree?

Wave at them.

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.

Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?

Because it never runs out of juice.

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.