Outing jokes
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."
Memes
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
add me in Roblox wholetthedogsoutyou1 lol who let the dogs out you you you you you?
Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.