Here are a few:
While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said "Sorry! It's been awhile since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope!
Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Joke:Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
You know every time we think of sex an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
So I was f*****g this b***h right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
Whats the difference between a pc and a 6 year old, i dont have to clean out my pc
Why did the starwars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? In charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped
what did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom? WATCH OUT!!!
I once made a belt out of clocks. It was a waist of time.
When ariana grande broke up with pete she said she has on less problem with out you.
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the libraryin told him to be quit? Pulled out a silencer.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat steped on it
It sayed nothing just let out a little wine
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage
So you start singing it’s the best day ever
Instead of the line 'This girls on fire', my friend can relate to 'The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the fuck out'
Why did the polack locked himself out of his car? Because his keys were inside of the ignition
Husband: Hay honey words can’t describe how beautiful you are. Wife: aww thanks Husband:But numbers can 0 out of 10
there’s no Asian kids in my class but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
