Outing jokes

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Joke: Why did the gym close down?

– It just didn’t work out.

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Yoda was in charge of scheduling.

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

I asked a emo kid if they wanna hang out.

A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?

(Getting brutally murdered.)

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Why are astronauts forgetful?

They're always spacing out.

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.