Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Outing Jokes
I asked a emo kid if they wanna hang out.
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
