You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
add me in Roblox wholetthedogsoutyou1 lol who let the dogs out you you you you you?
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
