Outing Jokes

I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.

My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

Out of a catalogue. 😁

WTH

A picture shows a baby trying to sneak out of work. Text on the image reads: "WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO SNEAK OUT OF WORK AND YOUR BOSS WALKS IN."

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

How to make time fly?

Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.

How many times does 42 go into 9?

Get in the van to find out.

What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?

When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.

"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."

A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.

The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."

Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."

Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.

Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?

No, because it never came out...

Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

A: Wave at him.

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.