Outing Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Trees are so social. They're always branching out.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I had recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

We found out that she died............... from an autopsy

How many times can 50 fit into 9?

Get in a van and find out

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive." to the corona patients

Christopher’s Mom said one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Turns out Christopher was adopted.

How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the the dash.

When an emo kid jumps out of a tree what happens when he hits the ground?

Nothin much he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope

my new girl friend is a porn star she would probably kill me if she found out

I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

You wave at him.

Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.

I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women’s rights book in the fiction section

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”