Outing jokes

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.

I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.

Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

Relationships are like fat people.

Most of them don’t work out.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!