Outing jokes
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
Bro, yo mama so fat Thanos had to clap her out of existence.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"