One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when i was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled, Thats a THRILLER.
2 7 73 53
I'll give you time, figure it out
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. there names were johony and papa All of the sudden,johony passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My son just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist? Just take out his brain and there you go!
Why is jupiter so big because it works out
dream yo mama so ugly when she went in the bathtub the water jumped out
READ THIS OUT LOUD: This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is an cat This is idiot cat This is a busy cat This is a for cat This is forty cat this is seconds cat
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Quote Of The Day: Where there is no struggle, there is no strength. Love you guys, and hope today was amazing!!!
Peace out!!!! <3
So I was in the bathroom at school washing and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like "hey can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like sure and I was like come here and so she came over to me I was like girl look at ur self in the mirror and she started laughing so hard and she said I'm so ugly.
how much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.
My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen so he kept warning them then he was kicked out of the theater
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water, Jack fell down his cock was out and Jill gained a daughter
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key
Being in a cage But nobody sees you
Being outside of a cage- but it's empty
Living and realizing you've been born into one
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**-
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. you have the key But you don't know how to use it.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
u mess with goose he strain out all of your body juice
u mess with goose he hang u with noose
whats the best way to get an emo out of a tree
Cut the rope
