Outing Jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!

Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)

Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?

Do you like In-N-Out?

Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.

(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Woman: "I want coffee, black."

Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"

Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.

What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?

"Wanna hang?"

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.

I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.

Your hairline looks like Thanos snapped your hair out of existence.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!

If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.

The kid just hangs there.

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.