Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
20. Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
what does a emo kid say when they wanna hang out *wanna hang?*
If a fly loses its wings is it now a walk wait a minute I found out a mind blower so the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun doesn't that mean all country's are the called the 3rd country of 🌎 if I get 10 likes I'll do one mind blowing facts daily
One man's trash is another man's treasure he said when he found out his parents split up and is adopted
Your family is so poor when you knocked the door for money I offered you a penny and when you knocked again the rock answered and knocked you out
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" great thing to say to someone horrible way to find out your adopted
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.
Ur hair line looks like thanos snapped your hair out of existance
How do u make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple. The kid just hangs there.
When God made Chinese he said "DON'T LOOK!" and the chinese said "why?" and God replied "You wont want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing"
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man he said "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES" and the white man said "Why?" and God replied "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you"
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said "there is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the holocaust said "all these europeans killed each other so a white genocide is accurate, white killed white"
Then the Chinese said "thank you we take your land now"
And the Jews said "but we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said "yes every time God show up you get bullied! you might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said "why are you chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the chinese said "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so dont go looky looky at the world then"
It turned out the chinese are very obediant to God.
When God make white people he said "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT"
"My wife is so crazy" said Beatem's McSmasher. "Why?" asked his buddy Don Caretomarch "She's sitting on the front verandah packing my shit in boxes!" "You getting kicked out bro?" "Yeah, all I did was break every plate in the house over her head. Some people have no sense of humor" "Is she one of them woke bitches?"
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Why cant orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come out of.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date? She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Question; What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"? Answer; After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.
