Otherness jokes

Tombstone

    • A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

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    • Otherness memes

    Condom

    • What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?

    One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!

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    • Extortion

    • A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

    "How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

    "Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

    The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

    She said, "Not everybody paid."

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    • Grandma

    • The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!

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    • Kidnapping

    • One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."

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    • Cowboy

    • One day there were these 3 cowboys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures. Well, the first cowboy said, "I tangled with a bull that killed 6 people, so I wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands."

    The second cowboy said, "That's nothing. Yesterday I was walking on a trail and came across a rattler, so I picked it up, bit its head off, and drank all his venom in one gulp."

    The third cowboy remained quiet, stirring the embers of the fire with his penis.

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    • Hand

    • If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

    Big hands.

    Number

    • 6 looks like someone facing up.

    9 looks like someone facing down.

    69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.

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