Original jokes
French fries weren't originally cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.
What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?
Anglosaxon.
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
Question: How was Covid-19 born?
Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.