Original jokes

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?

Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.

Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

The sexual shout "Yes Daddy" probably originated in Alabama.

Where do alien cows come from?

- The Milky Way.

Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?

Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.

Boy: Okay, Dad.

Dad: No problem, Brick.

P = Person (not original "pun")

P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

(Communications with this person are now blocked)

What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!

Person A: Where do you come from?

Person B: Liberia.

Person A: *speaks softer* Oh sorry, do you come from?

Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

She replies, "Really original."

Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

She replies, "Ew, gross."

Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

Winner dog 3.

All germs are from GERMany.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because it's not original at all.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Jesus created the T-pose first.

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

What country do French Fries come from? Grease.

How to decorate a wall:

Strip off the paper and original plaster.

Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.

Paint it (if you want).

Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.