Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
OR Jokes
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs Nice tits
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."
Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father’s or Mother’s Day.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
