What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid. The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats the other one says “ your such a Cheetah!” Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he/she only had one option.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year
They have no mother or fathers day
The best way to tell Hindu person and a Muslim person part is asking them Are you 7-Eleven Or 9/11
If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell
When younger girls say I want my period or it will not be bad
*eating chocolate in bed crying * 😂😂 My face at them when they say that 🤣🙄😵 Them I got my period *them hurting*. Me: told u
Why do orphans always have an iPhone X or above?
So they don’t have a home button 🤙🏼
Next time you get a call from anybody say hi welcome to daves orphanage you make them we take them how may i help you
or
hi welcome to pizza and abortion clinic your loss is our sauce
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned years because they don’t have and farther s or Mother’s Day
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said "Are you going to ask for directions or what?".
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken) did anyone laugh at that or?? Augh i guess im alone
who crashed the plane? 1. Abu Faram?- terrorist 2. The little kid Joseph? 3. The passed out pilot?
OR JAMAL?
Knock knock. Whose there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or Dees nuts in yo mouth!)
I can't tell whats farther the great wall of China or how far Paul Walker flew out his windshield
Time for a Terraria joke
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
My cousin: Brother I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile however I left it as it is] Me: so tell me about it then. My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi Me: somebody? Don’t they have like the name of you opponents? My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I Me: Ok my bad. Continue My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi and 5 seconds later I got kill but [by] Sum_Fing_Wong. Me: it’s not wrong! In call of duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed. My cousin: no no no the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G Me: my bad again. Do continue. My cousin: I got so angry I blowup Me: so you got blowed up, by what weapon? My cousin: by the game. Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
