OR jokes
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
I got, I got, I got royalty inside my penis, or however the song goes.
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
Orphans might as well join the military or a gang because they have no family.
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
I got mad at my white friend today. I, as a darker person, had told them to meet me outside at 3 o'clock. They, being VERY special that day, had said, "AM or PM?"
Laughing at their question, I said, "Honey, 3 AM, because I'll lose a fight at 3 PM."
Why was the orphan so good at baseball?
Because his coach said, "Go long or go home."
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
What came first: the chicken or the egg?
Doesn't matter, in the future, they'll come together.
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.
The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.
This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).