OR jokes
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
Memes
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."
Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father’s or Mother’s Day.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?