OR jokes

Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?

From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...

Madeline McCann must have been homeless or something, she was sure eager for the free candy.

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

What is a yellow dog Libertarian?

A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?

If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father’s or Mother’s Day.

Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?

Boys: blue is blue.

Man A: "Is Google male or female?"

Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."