Opinion

Opinion Jokes

Democrat

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

People

People who make these jokes are plain crazy, more crazy than Islamic extremists.

Face

Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.

Music

I was listening to some Drake in class.

My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.

Cheesus

"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.

Terrorist

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

Animal

Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!

Abortion

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Spastic

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

Alien

My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”

“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”