One

One jokes

Panera

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

Guard

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

Friend

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

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  • Terrorist

    Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

    The terrorists both say, "A beer."

    The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

    One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

    Quote

    Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

    Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

    Memes

    School

    Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.

    Wish

    There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

    The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

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  • Dad

    Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."

    The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."

    First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"

    Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."

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  • Prison

    So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

    Porn star

    What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?

    One stops sucking when you smack it.

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  • Mama

    Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

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  • Documentary

    One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010โ€™s was โ€œJiro Dreams of Sushi.โ€

    One of the least popular documentaries was โ€œJiroโ€™s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.โ€

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  • Ant

    So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

    They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

    Csgo

    Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders

    Squirrel

    One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

    Cow

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.

    Kid

    Principal: โ€œWhy did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!โ€

    Kid: โ€œWhatever!โ€

    Principal: โ€œWhy did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!โ€

    Kid: โ€œDoesn't matter!โ€

    Principal: โ€œWhy did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!โ€

    Kid: โ€œOh well!โ€

    Principal: โ€œWhy did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!โ€

    Kid: โ€œI'm trying not to kill myself!โ€

    Nut

    A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

    Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

    Grape

    *bowl of dark grapes*

    Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

    Friend 2: Black? Good one.

    Friend 1: 21 at a time.

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