One jokes

The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.

Why am I so successful?

When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.

What's a benefit of being an orphan?

No one makes yo mama jokes to you.

Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?

How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."

We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?

A: "Hit me baby one more time."

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.