One jokes
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
I stole one's balls.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.