One jokes
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Why did one emo say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
1+1? Too hard.