One jokes
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.
How does Osama feed his child? "Here comes the airplane, here comes another one."
We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
No one:
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.