One Jokes

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?

"Stop staring at my nuts."

Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.

My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

An image of Aladdin holding a magic lamp with a blue genie beside him. The text says, "Aladdin taught me that good things happen to those who rub one out."

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

3 minutes later:

Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

What has only one sense of style?

An emo girl.

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

What did one candle say to the other?

"Want to go out tonight?"

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.