Occupation jokes
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
Parademic
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to drop some DEEP SEA RHYMES.
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS!
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.