Object jokes
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
Memes
best mug of the year or what?
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
Iron jug.
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.