The average stripper weighs 112 lbs.
According to the pole 💈.
What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
I love still things.
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What does the door say to the doorbell?
The door said: "You dingus!"
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
