Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: Because they come back, unlike their parents.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Q: Whats brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
