Object jokes
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that is not coming back? A: A stick.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Yo mama so ugly, her mirror broke.
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?