Object jokes
Yo mama so ugly, her mirror broke.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What's tree plus tree?
Sticks!
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
Memes
What does the door say to the doorbell?
The door said: "You dingus!"
What is a pile of balls?
What’s long, brown, and sticky? A stick!
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
I love still things.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)