Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What's brown and sticky? A stick with poop on it.
Or a stick with poo on it.
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
What do you call hot cups?
Sunglasses.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke I do.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
Where is the pocket?
It is there, the pocket.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
