Object jokes
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What's brown and sticky? A stick with poop on it.
Or a stick with poo on it.
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
What do you call hot cups?
Sunglasses.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke I do.
What's the difference between a child and a book?
One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
Where is the pocket?
It is there, the pocket.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.
What's green and sticky?
... A stick.
When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.