Object jokes
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!
You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.