Object jokes

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!

You're so small you went hand gliding on a Dorito!

A fan gave another fan a blowjob.

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

A pool table.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

What's long, brown, and sticky?

A stick.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.