Object

Object Jokes

Fridge

What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.

Baby

What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?

They both make noise when you throw them.

Plane

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"

"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"

They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"

"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"

Difference

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

Emo

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.

Baby

How do you fit a baby in a glass?

A blender.

How do you get it out?

Explosives!

Knife

What is the difference between me and a knife?

The knife has a point.