Numbers Jokes

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

why did the number 10 make freinds with 0 because you have $100 dolars

Calculate my dick, virgins

We got a. Number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend’s gone down, I revived him now we’re heading southbound! Now we’re in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!

number

So i ment up to a Australia girls she look like 20 and i said can i have you phone number sweet heart she saod 696969 i said oh habha ok a few days later her mother called me and said she 15

During school today a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it it was the principals number

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.

Best thing ever right here

So there is this app on your phone called ringer go into it there is a 12-15 digit number enter that into my phone my dick will get 12- 15 inches longer

why is 10 afraid

because he next to 9 and 11

why is 10 scared of 11 and 9.. because he's in the middle of 9/11

9/11 or just 7 eleven to a Mexican person.

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with her?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with him?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."

Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"

AYO IMAGINE HAVING A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN BUT INSTEAD ITS COST A BILLION DOLLARS A GALLON AND YOU HAVE A HUNDRED THOUSANDS THAT NUMBER WILL NEVER EQUATE TO HOW MANY PORNO MAGAZINES AND ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES AND MALY LIQUORS STOLEN FROM MY BROTHER BEDROOM AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT AT BEING EDGY AYO MAYBE INSTEAD OF THE FUTURE CARS BEING POWERED BY PETROLEUM OIL AND GASS BUT WITH HOT CHOCOLATE

IX+X=XXI So XXI is two legions into one.

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge? It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava, if they're active. And ours was.