Numbers jokes

Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

Why was number 10 scared?

It was surrounded by 9/11.

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

But numbers can. (Lol)

Why is 7 afraid of 6?

Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21!

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

"We are Number one."

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.