Numbers jokes
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count his bars.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
"We are Number one."
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21!
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."