Numbers jokes
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
What was Hitler's lucky number?
Nein.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
@iamloser I did something similar! 😏 took me three tries though.
What did the zero say to the eight?
"Nice belt!"
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
"What is your number?" "Hi."
During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
What does e equal?
I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.