Numbers jokes

Excitement

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

Number

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Number

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

Girl

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Memes

Mama

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Pilot

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

Rapper

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he could count his bars.

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Laziness

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

App

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Number

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

Elephant

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Binary

There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.