Numbers jokes

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.

Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't get even.

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

But numbers can. (Lol)

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.

America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.