Numbers jokes

Girl

Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't get even.

Cancer

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

Number

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Excitement

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

Memes

Girl

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Number

Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Laziness

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

Number

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

App

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Elephant

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.