Numbers jokes
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.
Why was number 10 scared?
It was surrounded by 9/11.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."
Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
What's the number one thing in an orphan's search history?
"How to find a family."
America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."