Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
"Gotta number one victory royale."
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Why is 8 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9. If you think it doesn't make sense, then it is "7 ate 9."
