Now Jokes

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit i forgot but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said I know you wanna. jack undressed and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. but stupud jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

Kenny was into incest until his mom died. Now he's into necrophilia.

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

I can tell a joke :`)

Twinkle Twinkle there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling

I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..

I now suffer from anxiety aND depression :\

My friend was feeling low today so I went up to her and said "You know I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life" I don't think she likes me now

so there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs that said hey sir i've never been fucked before will you do the honors and fuck me, so I threw her in the ocean and said well your fucked now.

Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"

Kenny is living with his girlfriend now. He just moved back in with his mom.

My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.