If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him? not now I have a headache
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.I think I hid the body pretty well but now I have to hide the gun.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, " Dad how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big "dick"? her father replied " honey, you should have watch me last night - it was inside my mouth, does it cycle now?"
I used to date a girl named Ruth but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence
"Oh waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why yes"
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
I was blessed with a 9 inch penis the priest is in jail now.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’
Now, my wrists look like a tiger
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said ‘ a smile’
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school
Going to school is mandatory in this country
Can you guess my plan?
My wife cheated on me with my brother She didn't have a sister so I improvised and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come
My therapist once said, 'time heals all wounds' So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "now were not even allowed to do that."
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
I was blessed with a 9inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope your happy now
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing to her about being suicidal, she's been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
What do emo s and the twin towers have in common there were 2 but now there are none
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
