Not jokes
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
Top 10 Cos:
1. Disco 2. Flamenco 3. Fresco 4. Fiasco 5. Monaco 6. Tobacco 7. Bronco 8. Morocco 9. UNESCO 10. Taco
Pexico? Not top 1000 in my honest book.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
Do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.