Not jokes
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Memes
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Stranger: Not your parents.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!