Not jokes
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.