Not jokes

I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.

She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣

I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.

Why are orphans not allowed in stores?

Because else they would actually feel at home.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

This text does not contain a joke.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.

I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.

What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?

I personally think cereal is not nutritious.

Why is the Reaper not funny at all?

Well, he tells dead jokes!

I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

Me: Then which one are you?

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!

Why can’t an orphan use an iPhone?

Because the home button does not work.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.