Not jokes

Libertarian

What is a yellow dog Libertarian?

A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽

Woman

Dark humor and women are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

Canada

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Water

What is the same between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

Hairline

Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.

Memes

Fight

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

Grandfather

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Roast

Person: You're so ugly.

Me: You ugly.

Person: I'm not a mirror.

Me: And I'm not your reflection.

Man

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

Orphan

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

Bus Driver

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

Dad

Wife: I’m pregnant.

Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.

Wife: No, you’re not.

Warden

The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?

(Doesn't have boss bar.)

Pizza

If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.