Not jokes

Butt

    • Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

    And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

    Wife

    • A guy asked me what I do for a living.

    Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

    Baby

    • "Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

    Not memes

    Movie

    • Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?

    because it was rated RRRRGGGG.

    I am guessing you don't understand :(

    Child

    • My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

    If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

    Life

    • POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

  • 0

    • Reason

    • I'm not saying you're stupid.

    But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"

    Houdini

    • What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

  • 0

    • Chicken

    • What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

    Chip

    • A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

    "I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

    Dwarf

    • I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

    Me: Then which one are you?