When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Not Jokes
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?
(Doesn't have boss bar.)
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
