What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Not Jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to get home, that's for sure.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.
For I have everyone's IP address.
Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?
Because his parents wouldn't let him.
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Me.
Me who?
Not me.
