Not jokes
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.
This is not a joke.
What type of restaurant can an orphan not go to? A family diner.
Memes
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Why could you not see the guy in my dark closet?
The guy was black.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
Why don't rappers ever gamble?
Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.