Not jokes

I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.

Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Yo momma so fat not even Dora could explore her.

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"

Abigail Brynn Welch is not funny.

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

POV: Your dad is gone.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your dad. LMAO.

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?

He was not worth keeping.

Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

Pro lifers: End abortion!!!

Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Not to get home, that's for sure.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.

What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?

Nacho cheese.