Not jokes
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
A man asks to play kick the bucket (not death).
The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt. Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other one's foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff, which brings the man with it. LOL
THE END
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
What is the difference between a human being and a tree?
A human can walk and a tree cannot walk.
Memes
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Why is America not good at Clash Royale? Answer: They lost 2 towers! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
Villager: KNOCK KNOCK
Steve: Who's there?
Villager: I'm not talking anymore.
Steve: I'm not talking anymore who?
Hi Gwen, how is life!
A. Bad, lame, and suckish.
B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!
C. Perfect!
I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
If you think this joke is funny, give it a dislike. If you think it is not funny, give it a like.
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they cannot find home.