Not jokes
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.
Memes
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Some jokes are best left not harassed by those who are offended by them.
For I have everyone's IP address.
Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?
Because his parents wouldn't let him.
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Me.
Me who?
Not me.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
Why can’t an orphan play GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?