Not jokes
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.
I'm not into scatplay. In fact, I think that shit's disgusting.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
it all makes sense now 😮😮😮
When is a door not a door?
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
I made a website for orphans. You know what I did not add? A home page.
Why don't rappers ever gamble?
Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.
I'm not completely useless....
I can be used as a bad example!
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted.
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
What type of chip can orphan's not eat? The Lay's Family Size chips!
Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.