Not jokes

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL

Your hairline is so far back that not even Tom Brady could throw that far.

"What's the wifi password?"

"121i362"

"It's not working."

"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"

"The United Airline."

"We're in the World Trade Center, though."

What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?

Nacho cheese.

Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.

If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

Which one's super super corny?

1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.

2. What's blue and super hard to see?

Dark blue. (🤔)

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because why not?

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

Why can an orphan not do school work?

Because they have to take their work home to their parents.

"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."

Why do orphans not get family size [items]?

Because they don’t have a family to share with.

Okay, okay, why [are] people askin[g] where I went[?] I[']m always on this website. Never think I[']m not.

Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?

A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.