Not jokes
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Your mom does not need the internet. She's already worldwide.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans; they knocked down 2 towers, not 3.
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Slade must be WiFi... because I’m not feeling a CONNECTION.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal? Because they are not wanted.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!