Not jokes
Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why is Mars red and not orange? Because it would be too bright.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
Memes
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why do emo kids not like trees? They always leave them hanging.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Why do so many kids die in school shootings? Because you're not allowed to run in the corridors.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Jokes are like food.
Not everyone gets it.
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?