Not jokes

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

What can you catch but not throw?

A cold!

In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!

Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.

'Cause they sell oden, not a family.

She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.

What goes up and down and does not move?

Stairs.

Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

"Orange, orange, orange."

"Knock, knock."

"Orange."

"Orange you happy I didn't say orange again?"

Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

Arik? (Not a joke.)