Not jokes

Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?

Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Their dad did not come back with the milk.

What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.

Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.

What do you call an African that is not hungry? Dead.

I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

He could not find home.

Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?

Because they are not going to work.

What do you call dead?

(Not Michael Jackson)

Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!

Why can orphans not play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!

I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.

A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.

On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."

On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.

When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.

A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

Some time later me fighting with my mom:

Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

Lesson?

So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?