Not jokes
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
What do you call an African that is not hungry? Dead.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?