Not jokes
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Puns about air conditioning. I'm not a fan.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!