Not jokes
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Stranger: Not your parents.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.