Not jokes
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He could not find home.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!
I'd be a liar.
That is not a joke hahahahhaha.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.