Not jokes

Man

    • A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

    A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:

    Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

  • 4

    • Bathroom

    • This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”

    The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”

    So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”

    When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”

    The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”

    Cat

    • What do you do when your cat's not home?

    Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

  • 2

    • Kidnapping

    • There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

    Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

    Not memes

    Fandom

    • Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?

    Half n' Half hehe.

    Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!

    Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.

    Sorry not sorry -sans

  • 0

    • Death

    • Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.

    We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.

  • 2

    • Sex

    • Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.

    Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?

    Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?

    Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!

    Jarod: Are you Breya???

    Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???

    Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!

    Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!

  • 4

    • Republican

    • "Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"

    "Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."

  • 7

    • Anniversary

    • Lol, 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...

    J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*

    A Joking keggar is where I get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.

    Okay, y'all ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo

    What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?

    A DG (dee gay)

    What does lava use when it can't walk properly?

    A volCANEo

    What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalized?

    They start a HIGHot (say it like hi-ot, _riot_)

    What is Satan's favorite DJ?

    MarshHELLo

    What do neck breakers use?

    Snapchat

    What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmallows?

    Instagraham crackers

    Is this the last joke?

    No

    What is similar between a dog and my ex?

    They are both commonly known as bitches

    What number has a flu from a pig?

    Nine flu (swine flu)

    What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?

    BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Who is the best anime girl?

    Well, it's pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank

    Why did Sally get caned?

    Because old men hurriCANED.

    That was all

    OR WAS IT?

    Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)

    Paul Walker

    • I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.

    He had a change of race tho when he died.

  • 1

    • Country

    • I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.